Unlock the Perfect Ceremony: What to Ask Your Wedding Officiant

Don’t know what to ask your officiant? Don’t fret. Vow Perfect wrote a step by step guide to make it easy - add a latte to it, and you’re good to go!

If you’re anything like me when I looked for an officiant, then you fully trust that officiants know their craft, and will give you the ceremony of your dreams - even if you don’t know what that looks like! It was after my wedding that I discovered that no, not all officiants will invest in your love story, and no, I didn’t know what the perfect ceremony looks like – until after my wedding. This is the case for most brides.

I started Vow Perfect for this reason - because I, like many brides, didn’t know what I wanted, wasn’t sure what was possible, and to top it off, I was never offered a personalized ceremony that tells my love story, peppers in the journey, and gives insight into who we are as individuals, and a couple.  

I want you to avoid the same mistake. To help you, I wrote these tips to guide the conversation with your officiant, and to ensure you get what you want out of your ceremony, whether with me or someone else. Read on!

 Availability and Logistics:

Are you available on our wedding date and time?

How early will you arrive on our wedding day?

Do you have any requirements for the ceremony venue or set up (e.g., most officiants prefer a lapel microphone, if you’re able to provide it).

Whom do you need to be there, to assist you?

What will you need from us? This is important, as most officiants will need a small table on which they will legally register your and your witness signatures during or after the ceremony.

What is your policy if there is an emergency and you’re unable to officiate, or if we postpone the wedding date?

Ceremony – the Most Important Part of Your Wedding!

What can we expect from your ceremony, and how long will it be?

Do you write personalized, custom ceremonies? If yes, what can we expect from ours?

Can we incorporate other personalized elements in our story, including cultural?

Can we write our own vows? Can we include a poem in our ceremony or any other reading? Do you offer vow writing services as part of your package?

What do you plan to wear? Don’t be shy to ask this! We’ve all been to weddings where officiants showed up with untailored outfits or patterns that distract from your theme and photography. You’ve planned every detail, don’t let this one slip!

Do you strictly perform religious ceremonies and/or do you perform secular or non-religious ceremonies?

Rehearsal and Planning:

Do you offer a rehearsal, and what is the cost?

When should we have our marriage license, and do we need to give it to you before the ceremony?

How involved do you prefer to be in the planning? Again, don’t be shy to ask as your officiant may be open to this! For example, some of clients send me their wedding colours, engagement photos, and keep in touch via text in anticipation of the big day! This helps us prepare together and maintain the momentum.

Experience:

Why did you choose to become a wedding officiant?

How long have you been officiating weddings?

What skills and expertise do you bring to this service?

Fees and Payment:

What packages do you provide?  

How do you prefer to be paid? This is important, and I’ll paint a picture why: when we hired our officiant, she asked for half payment up front, and half the day of the wedding. Right after our ceremony, my husband and I were pulled away by our photographer. The officiant however, turned toward the wedding party to inquire about second payment. Thankfully, the best man stepped in quickly and took care of it (he was on the ball!). Most officiants will ask for payment up front; if they don’t, pay in advance! If you’re concerned about them fulfilling their end of the bargain, ask for a contract.  

Communication:

How do you prefer to communicate and how often (e.g. text, email, phone call, video call).

Coordination:

Are you comfortable coordinating with our photographer, videographer, and wedding planner to ensure everything runs smoothly?

Personal Connection:

How do you approach creating a personal connection with the couples you work with?